Her mom is very religious and judgemental to those who are not. I am a very open Atheist while she has open said she doesn’t believe in a grand creator namely the God of Abraham but is spiritual and energy and theta style, which I can sorta relate to in some ways. The mid week of July we argue lots, she seems to have her bipolar and PPD episodes and It seems as if she is trying Ur My Type to make her hit her or do something like every boyfriend before me has done to her. I just go for drives and cry in the car like I always do then come home. We go to bed she wants me to tickle her back, which I do but then I try to make it up to her for the fighting and get a little more. She is like naw I dont feel like it but I can still pleasure you another way.
Let that email be an inspiration for you. She gave you many hints of the mindsets you need to make a BPD relationship work. And, I do believe if I keep crossing that line, he is strong enough to treat himself how he deserves and leave me.
I was cool with it, because I wasn’t emotionally invested and I had a couple of other girls I was seeing at the time, so I wished her well. I think you’re doing irreparable damage to future children. Incredibly irresponsible to perpetuate this cycle of abuse whether or not some dude gets excitement from fucking one of these evil broads. I’ve dated two BPD women in my life so far and I must say your blog really opened my eyes in realizing whats going on in these relationships.
Don’t overthink it
She always got super mad when ever my friends were close, expecially if they were girls. Later her friend contacted me about the relationship with her i simply told them is complicated and i want thing to workout cause i still loved her. Fastforward to a few days, when i texted her to see i could make it up to her ,she decide to talk about us in one of our group chat with friend from school. She was my second girlfriend so guess the rude awakening i had about relationship, now at day im somewhat picky with girl watching out for sign of BPD. Again, therapy can really help them regulate their emotions, it’s the way out. Love and patience works, but look after your mental health.
How I Do It: ‘My sex life is spontaneous – it changes ever time’
If you are dating someone with BPD, it will be important for you to take the time to learn about this mental disorder. Suddenly everything is terrible, this person isn’t the saint they thought they were dating, and they turn off and shut down. This all or nothing type of thinking makes maintaining a love relationship quite challenging. A 2011 review published in the Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience looked at how those with BPD differed from those without when it came to sexual behavior. The authors conclude that those with BPD seemed to exhibit impulsivity through various behaviors, including earlier sexual encounters, more casual sexual experiences, and more partners, for example. It breaks our heart when we feel our behaviour has pushed you away, and sometimes we don’t have the emotional intelligence to fix it, which is where you need to help us.
It’s just that the person has to be, I suppose, “likely to develop” the disorder and then put into a situation where it’s triggered. Mental illness does not discriminate and can get anyone even if nothing has ever happened to you as a kid. Psychologists themselves don’t know where half the disorders they treat come from. I have more issues with my dad and a friend of mine is surrounded mostly by men.
“I usually blame myself for a lot of things, even when it isn’t my fault. And a lot of the time I think my friends could do better than me. I feel like I annoy them too much or I’m too much trouble to bother with.” — Prue I. You can have a fulfilling and loving partnership with someone who has bipolar disorder, but it will require work on both sides, boundaries, and professional support and guidance.
He suffered a stroke years ago, and although fully recovered, still uses it for sympathy. He definitely reeled me in with overwhelming attention and I was so impressed by his story of survival and ability to compensate post stroke. Of course I was the first woman he ever trusted and felt intimacy with, boy I felt special… And then the madness ensued.
Take Care of Yourself
Creating a plan on how to deal with the behaviors ensures that you are not feeding the symptoms of the disorder by ensuring you stay calm in the midst of an issue. You will also be able to reinforce better, productive behaviors. Devise a plan that will help you manage the behaviors so you can avoid imploding situations once they start and protect yourself so you are physically and emotionally safe. If you could feel all the guilt, anxiety, fear and self-doubt we were grappling with, you wouldn’t say that. It’s true, we sometimes demand what might seem like more than our fair share of air-space, but it comes from desperation, not egotism.
The Drama of Loving a Borderline
Studies have shown that people with BPD “experience heightened emotional reactions to stimuli”. This means that while a minor inconvenience might plunge me to the depths of despair, I can also feel joy and love at that same intensity. At risk of cringe, dating with BPD is like a game of snakes and ladders except the ladders are rocket ships and the snakes make you want to die. The very borderline habit of yo-yoing between complete idealisation and utter repulsion of the other has wreaked havoc on my past relationships.
It’s how I’ve come to understand what’s going on in these moments based on what she’s told me afterward once we’ve gotten things back to normal. And lastly encourage them to go to therapy, they need to emotionally regulate themselves and love themselves. Remember they ultimately have the responsibility to work on themselves and if they can’t you might have to love them from the sidelines and put your boundaries up. When one partner acts as a caretaker of the other, it can create an imbalance and unhealthy mutual dependency.